Recently, Cord Cooper of Investor’s Business Daily interviewed me on my new book, The Voice of Authority: 10 Communication Strategies Every Leader Needs to Know, for his June 14 column, “IBD’s 10 Secrets to Success.” We talked about the importance of showing concern when communicating—finding a segue into negative news, supporting it with reasons rather than excuses, and then zeroing in on the other person’s situation and issues. Keeping the lines connected can really be that simple. So why can’t we communicate with the other person in mind, admit our mistakes, say we’re sorry?
(Back to that rhetorical question in a minute.)
For a moment, consider the incident of the “54 Million Dollar Pants Lawsuit” that has been in the news for weeks. Who would have thought that one lost pair of pants from a Washington, D.C., dry cleaners would be so important that a lawyer/judge couldn’t get a new pair—or at least accept the remuneration the company offered him? At first you might think, “What a crazy customer! Suing for one pair of pants—are they made of gold?” This is the media’s dominant slant.
Yet, as the cliché goes, every story has two sides. We can’t be sure of what exactly went on. But along with the money offered up front, if the owners of the cleaners had said, “We’re sorry,” it might have taken the sting out of the situation—for both parties in the end. If you can rely on most customer satisfaction surveys, for most of the people most of the time, a sincere apology erases a multitude of wrongs.
According to the Associated Press, even the hospitals in the University of Michigan Health System have been encouraging doctors to apologize for mistakes. As a result, the system’s annual attorney fees, malpractice lawsuits, and notices of intent to sue have fallen dramatically.
Next time you need to let someone know you lost their pants, lost a case, or lost their keys, consider your audience—and the consequences. Your reaction and level of concern have everything to do with the outcome.
Back to my earlier question and thesis: So why can’t we communicate with the other person in mind, admit our mistakes, and apologize?
Ego. A big communication barrier in leaders.
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