Communicate With Confidence!®: Booher Banter

Communication Quandary Series: Opening Closed Minds

I’m continuing to answer a question I recently received at askdianna@booher.com: “How can we open closed minds—people who do not want to listen to any arguments or logic?” There are many different ways to tackle this problem, so I’ll spend a few weeks doling out some tips on how to get through to people who can’t be reasoned with. (Check out last week’s blog for Tips 1-3.)

4) Use the lesser-of-two-evils approach. If the decision you want from your listener is not particularly pleasant or desirable, consider creating fear about the other alternatives. Outline what happens if they stay with the status quo, what happens if they do X, what happens if their competitors or customers do Y. Your purpose is to get the listener to decide against the other options rather than necessarily deciding for your option.

The American public makes a similar choice every year at election time.
      
5) Choose your timing. The time to sell roofs is right after a tornado. The time to sell investment expertise is after the stock market takes a drastic upturn or downturn.The time to sell a quality process in your organization is after you’ve been removed from the bidder’s list because of the rising percentage of defects in your deliveries. Timing is crucial. Ask any politician.

6) Know the criteria before pushing the solution. Gain agreement on a group’s or boss’s criteria and then work backward: What does the decision maker consider the most important issue? A selling price under $5,000? A maintenance agreement with a 4-hour response for problems? Delivery within 60 days? A vendor with a TQM program in place? Unless your criteria matches theirs, you’ll look like a solution waiting for a problem to happen.

The Voice of Authority Takes to the Airwaves

Forget the lazy, hazy days of summer!  With the release of The Voice of Authority: 10 Communication Strategies Every Leader Needs to Know, I've been hustling and bustling through airports and interviews galore!

Just talked to a delightful host on the Alvin Augustus Jones Show in Oxford, North Carolina (aired in the Raleigh, NC, metroplolitan area), and another earlier one with The Bill and Joel Morning Show in Gainesville, Georgia (aired in Atlanta as well).  Alvin's show is archived at www.dralvinjones.com (look for the book icon on the right).  Below, you'll see listed a couple other interviews I've done this week and the site where you can find show archives.  Each talk features communication topics and tips you may find helpful for your communication challenges at work and home.

The Michael Dresser Show, Lifestyle Talk Radio Network
www.themichaeldressershow.com

On the Money! WXEL-FM, Florida
http://www.onthemoneyradio.org

Happy listening!

Dianna

Communication Quandary Series: Opening Closed Minds

Recently, I received an email at askdianna@booher.com asking this question: “How can we open closed minds—people who do not want to listen to any arguments or logic?” There are many different ways to tackle this problem, so I’ll spend a few weeks doling out some tips on how to get through to people who can’t be reasoned with.

1)  Appeal to self-interest.  Yes, people do make decisions for the good of motherhood, apple pie, and country.  But they feel an even stronger tug when the decision has something in it for them personally.  So, don’t just tell the manager that the new software will save the company over $400,000 in maintenance support during the next five years.  Show how it will speed up preparation of the department's audit report and help get the paperwork off the manager’s own desk. 

The more personal the benefits, the stronger the tug.

2)  Create immediacy.  A father may read in the newspaper that insurance companies are going bust right and left, and he'll shake his head with regret and turn the page.  But let his college-age son interview for his first job with an insurance company and the father will clip that news story to send to his son, along with a note to "check this out before you accept that job."

IBM or General Motors may announce pending layoffs of 20,000 people in the next quarter, and you'll empathize with those families affected.  But if you're an employee there, you'll start preparing your resume and talking to friends about job possibilities.

Don't tell employees that if XYZ legislation passes, their health-care costs will rise.  Tell them that their deductible will slide from $200 to $1000 and you'll have their attention.

To spark interest and action, the situation has to touch people's daily lives.  The closer the interest or the pressure, the more attention people pay.  Talk personally.  Make problems hit home.

3)  Ride with the flow as far as you can go.  We tend to continue to do things "because we've always done it that way."  People resist change.  Many voters still hold the political beliefs learned at their parent's knee.  They watch TV ads for things they've already bought.  They read cartoon series they've followed for 10 years and watch TV reruns for a lifetime.

For you, that means it's easier to ride the flow of opinion as far as you can.  Find out what people feel comfortable with currently, and then present your idea as "a slight modification" rather than a "new" idea altogether.  Think how much easier it would sound to you if someone asks you to "revise your report to include X" versus "rewrite your report."  To "alter" sounds easier than to "rewrite" from scratch.

To avoid resistance to a "new" policy or procedure, just "alter" the old one.

“There’s Just No Communication Around Here!”: Your Opportunity to Lead

Companies lose employees and customers every week because they can’t teach people to communicate clearly and candidly with each other.  Period.  It’s that simple.  And that complex.

This is where you come in.  People just about everywhere routinely complain, “There’s just no communication around here.”  If you can do something about that situation—that is, change that perception or reality—then you can lead.  You can change things for the better.

The answer is not about technology.  Blogging, instant-messaging, text-messaging, smart phones—all, just like e-mail and faxes, will be passé after a few years.  New technology appears and disappears from the scene.  The one constant is human communication.

How do you know if you’re any good as a communicator?  By the results you get—or don’t get.  You either clarify or confuse.  You either motivate or demoralize.  You either gain buy-in or generate distrust.

Symptoms of Poor Personal Communication

Most of us think we’re excellent communicators.  Unfortunately, our own understanding or response is not the best measure of effectiveness.  Everything we say is clear to us—or we wouldn’t have said it that way.  So when we look outward for clues of poor communication, these symptoms often surface:

• Feeling that everyone agrees with and supports what you say, feel, and do most of the time
• Lack of input, questions, or feedback on your ideas presented in meetings
• Few or no ideas contributed in your meetings
• Inability to influence others to accept your ideas or change their viewpoint or behavior
• Seeing little or no behavioral change in people you’ve coached for improved performance
• Confusion about what you’re supposed to be doing
• Lack of understanding the “why” behind assigned projects and goals
• Thinking that what you do or say doesn’t really “change things” in the long run
• Nervousness or hesitancy about presenting new ideas to your boss, client, or strategic partners
• Ongoing conflict with peers or family
• Frequent rework
• Constant reminders from you to others to take action, meet deadlines, or send information
• Frequent requests for more information about topics or issues that you think you’ve already addressed sufficiently
• Feeling of disconnection and discomfort in one-on-one and small-group interactions
• Lack of positive feedback about your presentations or documents (from those not obligated to give it)

Symptoms of Poor Communication in Your Organization

Ask executives if their organizations communicate well, and chances are they’ll give you a thumbs up. But ask those a little lower in the ranks and you may hear otherwise.  These symptoms crop up:

• Conflicting goals, objectives, priorities, schedules
• Left-hand, right-hand blindness (Division A doesn’t know what Division B is doing and often duplicates—or complicates—their work.)
• Turf wars
• Unclear values
• Low morale; people doing just enough to “get by”
• Lack of coordination of routine tasks; details “falling between the cracks”
• Rework
• Gossip, rumors
• “Us” against “them” attitude and conversations
• Poor team “chemistry” (either open expressions of hostility or silent withdrawal and cynicism)

Your career opportunity is your ability to use the principles of effective human communication to create connections and make things happen.  The first step on that career path is to acknowledge reality of the current situation.  No one ever claimed clear, compelling communication was easy.

Amazon Bestsellers List: The Voice of Authority: 10 Communication Strategies Every Leader Needs to Know!

Thanks to you, The Voice of Authority made a splash on Amazon during its initial launch on Tuesday, June 26.  You, as faithful readers, helped push it to the top of several sales categories! 

Overall, among ALL Amazon books, old and new, we achieved these rankings:
# 73 Amazon Bestsellers list
# 3 “Movers & Shakers" list
# 1 Business Communication
# 2 Business Skills
# 5 Management and Leadership
# 7 Professional Business Management
# 7 General Business
# 11 Business (overall category)

Thanks for your support. I owe you!

NSA Convention 2007—On the Road Again

Just after the holiday, I'm on the road again! This time I'm headed out to San Diego to speak at the 2007 annual convention for the National Speakers Association (NSA), "the leading educational and networking organization for professional speakers." I'll be doing a mega concurrent session Wednesday, July 11, from 10:00-11:30 a.m. on “Developing Persuasive Proposals That Win Big Contracts: Nine Common Mistakes That May Cost You Mega-Money,” as well as autographing copies of my new book, The Voice of Authority: 10 Communication Strategies Every Leader Needs to Know.

(By the way, thanks to all of you who helped with the Amazon launch on July 26. The book hit #73 on Amazon’s 100 Top Sellers list and #11 in Business Bestsellers, and #3 on the Movers and Shakers list. I appreciate your support!)

Featured keynoters at the NSA convention form an amazing lineup—Simon T. Bailey, Dr. Sue Morter, Randy Gage, Dan Burrus, Ross Shafer, Dr. Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale, and Dr. Gina Barreca. NSA "warns" registrants that this conference is not about "old thinking" or "feeding sacred cows," but about morphing the old into the new, and reinventing yourself and your abilities. Click here to find out more. Come join us if you're up for an amazing, rejuvenating experience!

These past two months have been a whirlwind of speaking engagements and media interviews for my new book. But I hope to be back to "normal"—whatever normal is—after July 19, with a day or two in the office each week. Thank you for continuing to send in your communication challenges—I'll be addressing them in upcoming blogs.